Daily Odd Compliment

I’m not always nice. I have this bad habit of judging cats before I get to know them. I also dislike most babies. Until they can fetch, I consider them useless.

How dare you! You’re never supposed to ask a 24 year-old man how old he is!

I think you should attend that “I Am Awesome And So Can You!” seminar. We have some great guest speakers lined up and I think you might learn a thing or two about yourself. Like how you might actually be awesome. While you think it over, here’s an extra hug. {{HUG}}

I sat on my bed and kicked off my socks. Well, a few of the compliments, well, they’ve got me quite lost. But my followers’ been quite kind, while I write along. It’s for people like you that keep me writing on. So excuse my rambling, but these things I do. You see I’ve forgotten if they’re funny or they’re true. Anyway, the thing is what I really mean. Yours are the sweetest comments, I’ve ever seen. And you can tell everybody, this is my blog. It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind. I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words. How wonderful Tumblr is while you’re in the world.

If you’re 13, it would be creepy, because I am nearly twice your age. Holy crap! I’m so old. But I feel so young! AHH! Growing up sucks! Don’t do it! Get off your computer and go play! I know it’s a school night, but just go outside and run around while you still have the endurance. Cuz you know what I have to do before I can go play? I have to stretch. For, like, way more than 10 seconds. It’s terrible. Don’t be like me. Don’t grow up.

Here’s something you might not know about me: I love midgets and dwarfs. Little People Big World? I used to watch the shit out of that show. Not even kidding. If there’s a special on TV about the shortest man in the world or something like that, I’m all over it. Just can’t get enough. So obviously, any storyline revolving around an entire race of dwarves is okay in my book. Also, here’s a fantastic hug. [It’s right here and it is fantastic]

Thanks. And you can just Google “Tyson Beckford.” We’re practically twins.

Yeah, I have down days. But when I’m feeling sad, I just throw a fit, cry, curl up in a ball, get up and yell, throw things at other things, punch homeless people, kick cats, yell at birds, pet dogs (they didn’t do anything wrong), cry again, blame the closest person to me for something they didn’t do, tell my ex she’s stupid, open the fridge, drop kick jelly, eat spoonfuls of peanut butter, and by then I feel way better. You guys should try it sometime.

You know when you’re staring at the clouds and they look like something else? Like, “Hey, that cloud looks like an elephant with three legs.” Well, that’s basically how my brain works. Only not.